My fear of rejection has never really been “social”. I don’t fear rejection because I feel that I won’t be liked by a group of people— My need of impressing someone new is really low, especially in large reunions, gatherings, parties, etc.
However, I do fear rejection in a more personal way, especially when I attach my self value to something.
That fear has stopped me many times when I wanted to try new things, like entering contests, or applying for certain jobs or projects: “Only professional photographers enter that contest”, ” I need to know how to code to go to a game jam”, “I’m sure only people with a Ph.D. submit a paper for that conference”.
I’ve thought those things many times to convince myself that I’m not good enough to try new things because I fear someone else might tell me that, and then I’d feel rejected, not qualified or talentless.
I really need to stop limiting myself to do the things I want because it’s only based on the fear that someone might say “no” to me.
Maybe I will get rejected, maybe I won’t, but by not trying I am really just rejecting myself, which I think it’s the worst kind of rejection a person can feel.
One huge assumption that is forced down our throats is the belief that the world is a cruel place. Now I agree there are certainly a great deal of uncouth and terrifying people out there but on the whole the world is a beautiful place with beautiful and fascinating people. These scare tactics unfortunately create nightmares for us anxious folks but we can overcome them! Whether it’s getting out of the house or leaving town we can explore this beautiful world and grow from it. We can learn we can fight and we can be living examples that fears assumptions and anxiety are “just all in our heads” pun intended :)