Posts tagged "fear"
You must learn to sit with the restless, painful energy and not let the momentum pull you under and cause you to do the same thing over and over that’s ruining your life and the lives of those around you.
Don’t Bite the Hook, Pema Chödrön (via creatingaquietmind)

(via gonzobuddhist)

My experience with death is very limited, I’ve been fortunate to never have experienced the death of a loved one yet.

One of my grandpas died even before I was born, and the other one died when I was 5 years old, but I only remember seeing him once, and I didn’t feel any pain or sadness.

Death is, ironically, such a big part of our lives, and yet I feel very inexperienced about it. When my friends have had experiences with death, either family or friends passing away, I feel like I have no way to relate to their pain. Grief is one of the very few human emotions I have yet to discover.

But I fear that experience so much. 

As time goes by I feel that my fear of death keeps increasing, mainly because I honestly don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with it. It’s like I know it will inevitably happen, but I fear my reaction to it. I am not of afraid dying, but I’m afraid of someone I love dying.

My fear to death increases with time, and my anxiety around it gets really bad. Some days ago, José Emilio Pacheco, a Mexican poet and novelist who I admire died at age 74. His death triggered some anxiety in me because I started thinking about what I always think when I hear the word death: what would happen if someone I love died today?

It’s very easy for me to start thinking of all the people I love, and imagine they suddenly die, and how devastated I would be. My anxiety builds up so fast sometimes I even start crying, and then I feel guilty for thinking those things, as if I were indirectly “jinxing” or “cursing” my loved ones by thinking of their deaths.

Cristina Pacheco, José Emilio’s wife, and who is a well known journalist, said something in a recent interview that has given me some comfort. When she was asked to describe her feelings about her husband’s sudden death she said “You need to understand, I have to speak of him in past tense, and yet he’s so very present in my life”.

For some reason hearing those words gave me some hope, and I started thinking of the way that I, as a Mexican, have been brought up to feel about death.

For some foreigners, day of the dead feels like a very morbid, odd way to perceive death. But for us is a way to keep people present, not necessarily “alive”, just present - in the things we do, in the words we say, in the thoughts we have. To bring someone to the present, even if we can only speak of them in past tense. I think that’s beautiful.

It gives me hope that I can rely on my heritage and my traditions to know that whenever death comes and takes someone from me, I will always have their presence in my life. And even though my grief and pain will be enormous, I can still always hold onto that, and for now I will keep adding experiences to turn into memories that will fuel that eternal presence when the moment comes.

 - Daniela

Go and live.

Go and live.


The fear of death—yours or somebody else’s—is a big motivator for many of the unhealthy things people do that contribute to anxiety disorders. Although we often get caught up in the superficial qualities of the symptoms, when you delve into why you fear burning down the house, getting in a car accident, contaminating yourself with germs, or whatever it might be, you’ll frequently run up against death. 

That’s not the only thing you run up against when you dig under your compulsions. The big three roots that generally seems to pop up are death, relationships, and resources—the things that cavemen would have worried about, like I mentioned in this video on OCD. But death is big for many people, really big. Death is so big that many people give up living their lives just so they can avoid dying. 

So learning how to accept death is a big support when it comes to recovery. As long as you hold on to that fear of death and do things to try to cope with or control that uncertainty, you’ll find yourself teetering on the edge of relapse. And as long as you hold on to that fear of death, you’ll find it very difficult to practice mindfulness and bring that support into your life. Worrying about death means your brain is off in the future, or ruminating on something in the past to see if you might have caused a death. It’s not in the present. Worrying about death will always pull you out of the present. 

Accepting death has helped me focus on life. It’s been an overwhelmingly positive experience. It helps me make each interaction count, it reminds me to make each day something that’s a positive for myself and those around me, it reminds me to breathe in the moment and be satisfied with that moment. 

And accepting death has enabled me to cut out so many compulsions that were eating up my life. In the past, I spent all of my time trying to prevent things from ending, but that meant there was no time for creating. And if we don’t create things, then that really is the end.

- Mark

Well after watching this video… I asked myself the question… What is at the root of  my “weed”?? Fear of Death is what first comes to mind. I have had a fear of contamination  & catching hiv/aids..

Rip up the roots of anxiety disorders!

Learning to accept the big fears—like death—that express themselves through your compulsions is a key support in recovery.

That’s what we’re all going to be posting on this week. If you’d like to join us, click here to share your thoughts

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I will practice coming back to the present moment, not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past or letting anxieties, fears, or cravings pull me out.
Thich Nhat Hanh (via purplebuddhaproject)

(via thatpeacefulblog)